Brandon Davis Trashes Lindsay Lohan on Video While Paris Laughs

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 5:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (5)

TMZ.com has posted an exclusive 3 1/2 minute video of Brandon Davis unleashing a torrent of foul insults about the hygiene of Lindsay Lohan while Paris Hilton trails behind him laughing her ass off. Davis, the grandson of oil billionaire Marvin Davis and former boyfriend of Mischa Barton, was out club hopping in L.A. with Paris and put down Hohan in every way he could think of, repeatedly referring to her "firecrotch" and makes bizarre declarations about her private parts, all while Paris eggs him on.

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Bill Gates Wishes He Weren't So Rich

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 3:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (4)

Microsoft Corp. Chairman Bill Gates said Wednesday he wished he were not the world's richest man for the 8th year in a row.

"I wish I wasn't. There is nothing good that comes out of that," said Gates.

Yeah, right. Would somebody please pimp-slap his ass?

The Microsoft founder, currently worth $50 billion, is also a big philanthropist but explained that he did not like the attention of being the world's richest person. "You get more visibility as a result of it," he complained during an interview.

Still, Gates joked about his plight being unequaled in wealth. Asked if he surrounded himself with financial peers, he quipped, "No, I sit alone."

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Jennifer Love Hewitt Says Fez is a Liar

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 6:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A couple of weeks ago, Wilmer Valderrama claimed to have bedded "Ghost Whisperer" star Jennifer Love Hewitt when he was pressed by shock jock Howard Stern on Sirius radio to tell all on his sex life.

But Jennifer isn't taking this lying down. In a recent interview with CBS, she openly laughed at Fez's bragging and insisted that they were "just friends".

Jennifer, who has dated just about everyone in Hollywood, dismissed his claims by saying: "I was told, like, that we had all these very steamy encounters, and I was like, really! Well, I would have loved to have been there!"

Wilmer the douchebag dished on a number of young actresses during his interview and rated Jennifer only an 8 out of 10 for her bedroom prowess.

Ricky Gervais is a Critic of British Comedy

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 3:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

The leading British comic actor Ricky Gervais has hit out at his country's TV comedies and dramas, insisting they are lackluster and tired.

The outspoken creator of the wildly successful series "The Office", who recently taped a guest appearance on the animated show "The Simpsons", says he is perpetually underwhelmed by British comedy and complains about British TV comedy writers.

In a lengthy interview with GQ magazine, he said: "They're always the same people. The same people write for 'I Love The Seventies' as some new satirical show on BBC3. Hold on! Have we really only got ten people?"

"It's different in America. They're ambitious, they're good, they're funny. They do stand-up, and by the time they're 31 they've got their own sitcom because they're good. You don't see many 40-year-old hack writers in America. They get fired if they're no good. It's like natural selection."

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Gwyneth Paltrow Threatens to Name Kid Mortimer

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 6:48 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After naming her daughter Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow and hubby Chris Martin are said to be planning to give their new son an even worse name.

Let's see, we have the father's name: Chris Martin. (Cool.) Grandfather's name: Bruce Paltrow. (Also coolish.) Gwyneth's choice: Mortimer. (So not cool.)

According to PageSix, who sourced it to rossmathews.net (meaning this is Class B gossip), Gwyneth is saying that pregnancy is making her crazy she wants to name her second child after her godfather Steven Spielberg, who she affectionately refers to as "Uncle Morty".

She won't be naming the kid "Steven", as that would look like she's sucking up to the most successful movie director of all times. Oh, no. The kid will be called Mortimer.

What's that sound you hear? Why it's the pitter-patter of little fists as British boys pummel poor little Mortimer's ass - daily - in juuuuust about ten years time. Good luck, Mort!

Sharon Osbourne Slams Rock Royalty and Just About Everybody Else

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 8:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

X-factor judge Sharon Osbourne has been dueling with Pete Doherty all summer and is now ready to pick fights with other celebrities. She has unkind words for the slash and tuck jobs done on the faces of the famous, and she should know - having undergone enough plastic surgery herself to lighten her husband's wallet by $500,000.

"Melanie Griffith has destroyed herself," Sharon said. "She was this lovely, fresh, blonde Californian girl, and now she's just grotesque — it's so sad."

The rock matriarch also slammed on actor turned circus freak Mickey Rourke: "God! He obviously hates himself, doesn't he? If you are constantly seeking approval and celebrity then it can do that to you, which is scary."

The First Lady of Heavy Metal also hates Madonna for her constant image makeovers: "I would like to punch her," Sharon told British GQ magazine. "She's a twat. So is so full of shit. Into Kabbalah one minute, and a Catholic the next. She'll be a Hindu soon, no doubt."

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Gwyneth is Pregnant with a Pear

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 3:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Actress Gwyneth Paltrow is expecting her second child according to blabbing actress/mother, Blythe Danner, who accidentally made the announcement at an award ceremony in Hollywood.

Danner said, "Yes, I am (going to be a grandmother again.) Well, I think so. Oh, well I have not checked lately."

A friend of her husband, Chris Martin, confirmed it. "Gwyneth is trying to contain her excitement about having another child, but she's incredibly happy."

People have begun to speculate what Gwenyth, the mother of a 16-month-old daughter, Apple, would name the second child. Bets are on Cherry if it's a girl, Banana if it's a boy. Nooooo! She wouldn't. Would she?

Now that I've come to think of it, Apple isn't so bad. Here's a list of embarrassing names that celebrities have handed their kids:

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Mariah Carey is Radiant Next to leatherface Donatella Versace

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 3:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

This is what happens when the lifelong affects of botox, booze, sunbed tanning, bottle tanning, and chemical peels finally kick in. Mariah Carey could have the skankiest hair, fugliest makeup, be wearing a dress with stained armpits and a boob popping out, and you wouldn't notice. You'd be wondering why she's having her picture taken with Quasimodo.

Celebrity Three-Way Calling Starring ...

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 5:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

"One of the many perks of being a celebrity is access to Celebrity-Way Calling, which is a lot like 3-Way Calling, except instead of 3 people being able to talk at the same time, it’s a bunch of celebrities that get to talk at the same time. All a celebrity has to do is flip open their phone, and they’re in the middle of a celebrity conversation. It’s pretty much the only reason I want to be a celebrity."

Jump over and take a look at a recent Celebrity-Way call...(Seriously awesome ... one of the funniest things you'll read all week)

Kimberly Stewart Sorry For Calling Aniston "Homely"

Posted by Fara Kearnes at 4:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

"I actually sent her flowers today and an apology," said fugly model Kimberly Stewart after being slammed for stating her opinion that Jennifer Aniston, the blonde actress/goddess and former mate of the sexiest man alive, was homely.

It all started back in July when Kimberly told Blender Magazine: "I like Jennifer because she’s, you know, homely. She obviously has to have something else. It’s not like she’s gorgeous or anything."
, When she read the insult, Jennifer told Vanity Fair: "It literally ruined my night. I got my feelings very hurt, actually."

"It was something I said," Kimberly later explained to Access Hollywood. "It was one of those things that you say and then you bite your tongue, and you’re just like, what did I just do? Jen said that thing in Vanity Fair, and it made me feel awful, so I sent her flowers today and an apology."

Being the daughter of Rod Stewart has helped Kimberly land modeling gigs for Tommy Hilfiger, Richard Tyler and House of Field, but she is still waiting for her big acting break, after her buddy Paris Hilton couldn't pull strings to land her the "Simple Life" gig. Thanks be to God that Nicole Richie is returning and we won't have to put up with Stewart and her high opinion of herself.

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