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Denise Richards Breaks Record for: Worst. TV. Show. Ever.

Posted by Fara Kearnes on May 27, 2008 4:49 PM |

denise and charlie sheenWhen the most interesting thing about the life of monster Denise Richards is when her dog eats the pet pig's poo, you know you're watching the worst of reality TV. The show, called "It's Complicated" is supposed to redeem her tarnished image as the gold-digging ex-wife of a Hollywood star. Now, it will just make her a laughing stock.

Actually, it's not that complicated: the show should be a comedy about her 3-year bitter battle with ex-husband Charlie Sheen. Just one of those "I hate you but will you be a sperm donor?" emails and hilarity ensues!

Denise's most memorable quote, and the one that reveals her true nature, is this: "Everyone says I need to date a normal guy. What is normal, anyway? For me, normal is a famous actor or a rock star. That’s normal.”

Um-kay. Then she goes to the DMV (Dept of motor vehicles) to try and get the name Sheen off a car title since she says she can't stand her ex - yet can't STFU about him.

The Richards-Sheen saga has so much to work with: Gambling, prostitutes, drugs, prostitutes, crazy conspiracy shit about the 9/11 attack, harrassing phone recordings, more prostitutes, wicked emails, and all of it culminating in Denise issuing a statement last week that said: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

So much great material gone to waste!

So why are fans left to watch a dog eat pig poo off the kitchen floor? But then, there's the most amazing nugget of reality from the show: Denise Richards has piles of pig excrement on her Kitchen Floor!!


In the dog-eats-pig-poop scene, someone says "Don't eat the poop". I think they should change the tagline "It's complicated" to "Don't eat the poop" asap before the show is put in the compost heap.

Other permutations:
"Don't date the poop"
"Don't hire the poop"
"Don't watch the poop"

In fact, Denise Richards should legally change her name to "the poop" -- or adopt it like a boxing nickname -- Denise (The Poop) Richards

Ironically, I will probably watch again to see if anything can top the disgusting poop magic that was Episode 1.

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