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Lindsay Lohan is a Comedianne: "Hey, They Ain't Mine!"

Posted by Fara Kearnes on July 25, 2007 5:15 PM |

Lindsay LohanLindsay Lohan claims she is innocent and that the blow she had in the pocket of her tight jeans when she was arrested for driving drunk yesterday wasn't hers. She was, like, just carrying cocaine around for someone else. Like a friend, you know? So what legal part of "possession" does Firecrotch not understand?

"Yes. I am innocent... did not do drugs they're not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin's mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy." That was how Lohan explained herself via email to Access Hollywood. It sounds like Tarin's mom was the one who dropped the coin and called the cops on Lohan being drunk behind the wheel, but it's not clear who was chasing who. And did the assistant Tarin quit or was she fired? But in Lohan's "excuse", Tarin's mom "almost" hitting her car has nothing to do with the drugs found in her pocket or the booze in her system.

Lohan was taken to jail where her blood-alcohol level registered a .12 (well above the legal limit which is .08). Lohan was booked on suspicion of driving under the influence, as well as driving on a suspended license.

Celebrity lawyer Mark Geragos thinks Lohan is going to jail because she's committed two felony DUIs in 3 months: "The prosecutor can allege she's committed a new crime. That's the real problem here. That's where she faces some significant possibility of real jail time, not just the 96 hours that's mandatory minimum for a second offense.

"You've got that original felony and she's out, you know, on her own recognizance and then picks up a second felony, you can put an allegation in there that potentially raises the stakes from just a - what would normally be a county jail case to a state prison case.

"Is a plea bargain in the works? It's not just a possibility, it's an absolute reality. They're not going to fight this. They're going to go in there. They're going to beg. They're going to plead. And they're going to do whatever they think they can to get a deal in this case."


bitch u is crazy

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