Britney Spears likened her hard-partying post-divorce ways, not to booze or pills, but just to bad behavior: "I was like a bad kid running around with ADD."
In a long confession she posted on her website yesterday, the shaved-head singer who spent a month in rehab writes that she hit "rock-bottom" but explained her public displays as: "I think it is actually normal for a young girl to go out after a huge divorce."
"I think the whole problem was letting too many people into my life," the 25-year-old singer wrotes. "You never know another person's intentions or what another person wants."
"I had a manager from a long time ago come in and try to direct me and my life after I got my divorce. I was so overwhelmed I think that I was in a little shock too. I didn't know who to go to."
"I realized how much energy and love I had put into my past relationship when it was gone because I genuinely did not know what to do with myself, and it made me so sad. I confess, I was so lost," she writes.
Spears also says she is "having to face a lot of things" as she raises her two children. "A lot of insecurities from when I was little are coming up again," she writes. "It is like we are never good enough."
She says she's no longer "angry at the tabloids" and writes that she hoped her reaching out now will make people "think a little bit more of me and where I am coming from," adding that her plan is to make herself numb to stories written about her in the media rather than get upset.
"I am going to make mistakes everyday, and I am sure every mistake I make will probably be on CNN or `Good Morning America,'" she writes. "I am only human people and I love you for still loving me."
She closes by saying, "We will never really understand or figure out life completely. That's God's job. I can't wait to meet him ... or her. Love, Britney".