Any good (or bad) Catholic will tell you that the Tom Cruise-Kate Holmes publicity stories coming out about the two planning a romantic Catholic wedding in Italy sounds a might suspicious for lots of reasons.
The main problem is that Cruise is already twice divorced which already puts him on DOUBLE SECRET probation with the Catholic Church, and that's not even saying what the church thinks of Cruise's exaulted position as a Level VII Operating Thetan in the Church of Scientology.
The church also frowns on the the wholie living-together-in-sin before the marriage thing and then there's the tiny tiny tiny little problem that Kate 'n Tom (or maybe just Kate and her parents) want to get hitched with a priest in a castle. That's against the rules in the church. You see...
Catholics can not marry in parks, Catholics can not marry in fields, Catholics can't marry in cow pastures, or in castles, on ski lifts, while skydiving, or on an airplane. Catholics cannot marry on a boat! Catholics cannot marry with a goat! Catholics do not like Green Aliens who ham! They do not like them, Sam I Am!
Anyhoo, Monsignor Nicola Fiorentini, the parish priest at the Santa Maria Novella Church in Bracciano, the town north of Rome where the wedding is set to take place, told the Italian daily La Stampa that a Catholic wedding ceremony could not happen because Cruise is divorced and thus ineligible for any religious ceremony. He also added, "Even if the actor was not divorced, the wedding does not have authorization of the parish priest where the wedding will take place."
So there you have it. There may be a Scientology wedding for Kate n Tom on November 18, but it won't be Catholic.
