The Linz brothers and sister ran a smooth final leg and literally cruised to the finish line to claim the $1 million prize as winners of The Amazing Race: Family Edition. Just behind them in a close second place were the Bransen family, with the Weaver family finishing third.
Departing from their last pit stop, the teams left Montana after some wraslin' at the airport between Nick Linz and Rolly Weaver which left both unharmed but caused more trash talk by Ma Weaver -- which pissed Nick off enough to say he wished he'd of broken Rolly's arm although you knew he didn't mean it. The teams fly to Montreal were they take a cab to the Underground City and all twelve people get LOST in the maze of metro tunnels while trying to find the clue box. In the austere, pristine, and endless corridors, the Linzes and Bransens manage to WALK PAST the clue box several times without seeing it.
Finally, they find it and are sent off to the next detour: a choice between "Slide It" or "Roll It." In "Slide It" the teams annoy their cab drivers on the way to McGill Arena where they must do some curling. The Linzes have a lot fun with this, as they do with everything, but not as much fun as the Beatles had with curling in the movie "Help." Ringo and George were especially good at sweeping as I remember.
The Weavers and Linzes had no problem with the round rock and broomstick sport (what are the helmets for?) while the Bransens - My Three Chicks - decide to do the other detour, the physical task of playing lumberjack and roll-logging or log-rolling, or whatever the heck it was, heavy logs along and UP a 100-foot course. Naturally, they fall into last place with this choice.
Then it's off to the American Pavilion, at the site of the 1967 World Expo, where the clue there sent them to an industrial park and the roadblock task in which one team member had to get up on a flying trapeze and perform a stunt. Rolly is the only Weaver capable of doing the task (or any task for that matter) while his mom and sisters are only good at praying for God to do everything for them. Rolly nails it on his first try. Ditto for the Bransen chick who looks like Chris Evert (Beth?), she catches in midair on her first attempt. Meanwhile, Alex Linz, dubbed "Fat Ass" by his loving and supportive brothers, needs three tries to complete the task which puts his team in last place.
The teams next headed to Olympic Park (excusez-moi, "Parc Olympique"), where they drove golf carts around the stadium until they found the entrance to the playing field. Apparently there's only one and it takes like an hour to find. Once inside, the next task was to search the 56,000 seat stadium for just three clues on the back of chairs for charter flight times to a "mystery destination" for the next morning.
The Weaver women summoned up their "Can't Do" attitude and threw in the towel early and would probably have given up the race completely if it hadn't been for Rolly urging them to at least try to find the stupid envelope while Ma Weaver whines "This is so unfair." The Linzes and Bransens search the upper deck of stadium and find the clues; then they laid down on the cots provided for them on the 50-yard line and fall fast asleep. Finally, the weary Weavers get up off their asses and go find the last clue, and were able to catch some Zs before their 5:55 a.m. flight.
Next stop: Toronto, the mystery destination. The teams find their designated cars and drove to La Tour CN, the world’s tallest building, and proceed to the top observation deck where they use binoculars to search the city for their next clue. Again no problem, as the race continues to suck with these all too-easy tasks.
Final Detour: Ship or Shoe. Choosing the Ship detour, the Linzes and Weavers each take a sailboat across Toronto Harbor to a tall ship, the Kajama, where one member (Rolly, get ready) climbs up 100 feet to the top of the mast and retrieves a nautical flag. The ridiculous shoe detour was chosen by the Bransen girls who had to find "Cinderella" at the Bata Shoe Museum among 100 barefoot women with huge boaters. Which petite femme would fit the dinky shoe? Wally was not liking this task - even less than searching the stadium. As frustrating as it was, the Bransens actually finished before the Weavers sail across the Harbor. Don't know about the editing here, but somehow the Weavers ended up sailing at a snail's pace and were in some serious hurt lagging behind and falling into last place.
Then it was off on an 80 mile drive to Queenston on the Canadian side of the Niagara Gorge where they took a cool jet boat ride up to the Niagara whirlpool and grab their clue from a buoy. The boat then took the soaking wet teams (wet t-shirt contest coming up?) to the other side of the river at Lewiston, New York where the last roadbock was.
There, one team member worked a jigsaw puzzle to complete an enormous picture of North and Central America. Ma Weaver, who wouldn't know Pennsylvania from Transylvania, would need to ask Rolly to do this roadblock too. Well, Nick Linz and Wally Bransen were neck and neck at this point doing the puzzle for their families who could only jump around in frustration as the tension built. Just as Nick pounded in the last New England state, Wally was also finished -- only to turn around and -- ah, mon dieu! - tiny Rhode Island was missing! He picked up the itty bitty piece and fumbled to put it in the puzzle - but they were doomed: the Linz bruisers were already in a foot race to the finish line.
"25 days... 50 cities... and more than 600 consecutive hours together as a family... Linz family, you are the official winners of The (worst) Amazing Race!" Phil told the brothers and Megan. The Bransen Bunch came in second only half a minute later, while the Weavers showed up either 5 minutes or an hour later, I dunno, it was hard to tell as they ran up to the podium to polite applause from the 10 families that had begun the race a month ago.
Next up, Amazing Race 9 goes back to it's regular two-person team format (thanks be to God) starting February 29 after the close of the 2006 Winter Olympics.