Survivor Guatemala Recap: The Golden Torch is Snuffed
Pool party! The only thing missing from the killer reward of a swimming pool, deck, umbrellas, lounge chairs, and margaritas given to Yaxta tribe was music. How can you have a party without some tunes? Tribe Yaxha easily blew away Nakum Jamie in the Reward Challenge and scored a very cushy pool to use for the rest of the competition of Survivor Guatemala.
And just as Nakum lost it because of one guy, Yaxta won it thanks to farmer Brandon, who has seen a rope or two around the barn and knew how to chop through the darn things in SECONDS. Over on team Nambrain, Jamie has no idea how to cut a rope and his tribe loses the reward challenge in the most lopsided win ever in Survivor history. The reward was two pitchers (JUST TWO???) of margaritas, chips, dip, guac, and a floating croc-proof swim cage with deck chairs and umbrellas. Sweet. But it wasn't really a team effort: Kudos to Brandon for winning it for his tribe.
, Back at the camps, catty Brian instigated a new game called, "Bait Blake." Seems like Honey Boy can't stop talking about himself, his athletic ability, his frat, his girlfriend with the triple-DDD boobs (cuz she's on the pill you know), his conquests of older women. On and on and on and on and on and on. Brian's devious plan worked to perfection: Once Blake got over the weakness and vomiting he had during the first days in camp, he was anxious to tell everyone how great he is. He literally bragged himself off Survivor.
As for the rest of the tribe, Brian rolls his eyes and declares he's only playing along with the praying and thanking Jesus and everything so as not to annoy the hicks on his team. He's better than them, you see, cuz he points out he's from a blue state and "most of these people I probably wouldn't be friends with outside of the game. They come from different parts of the country. I'm very New England, most of these people are from like Teeeex-ass, Tuuuul-sa, Oklahoma." Obviously, anything west of the Hudson River is just hick-town to the elite Ivy leaguer, Brian.
The other Ivy leaguer, Rafe of Brown University, continues to be a rock-solid likeable guy. The Irish cop, Amy O'Hara, also from the blue state of Massachusetts, at least asks questions of the Kansas wildcat who know country life and likes to learn new things.
Tensions mount as Judd the bellhop mixes with Nurse Margaret, who he hates. Jamie takes an odd moment to flip out on Cindy the zookeeper, who is surprisingly not on camera much, and doesn't have much to say, despite the fact that they are in the FREAKING JUNGLE and Cindy, THE ZOOKEEPER, you would think would be going batshit herself, gleefully spending her free time studying all the species of monkeys, crocediles, birds, snakes, and that beetle the size of helicopter that buzzed around Amy. I mean, did you see the size of that thing?? But has Cindy the zookeeper said bupkiss about doing a little field study? Nope. The only ape she's got a chance to study is rude Judd.
Golden girl Steph is starting to lose it. It's been an ULONG time since she's been on a tribe that manages to win an Immunity challenge, but she finally gets a break. During the catapult catch contest, Nakum outscores the NFL quarterback-lead Yaxha, 5-2, and wins immunity.
Speaking of ex-quarterback Gary, he's lost weight and seriously resembles Steve McQueen from Papillon. And the cracked and bleeding lips are painful to look at. Can't one of those cameramen hanging around slip him some chapstick? He doesn't complain, but he looks like he's weakening in the intense heat.
At the Tribal council, Bobby Jon goes back on his word to Blake about not voting him out, and does just that. Gary, Brian, Bobby Jon, Amy, and Danni all vote for Blake and his bragging mouth outta there. Golden boy was completely taken by surprise. He didn't see that one coming, but we did.
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