An 11-mile hike through the thicket in Guatemala ended with disturbing sounds of retching, vomiting, and moaning from ill and dehydrated tribesmen, accompanied by the rage of screeching insane monkeys in the jungle. throw in a lot of rain and mud, aligators, snakes, tarantulas as big as your fist, and bugs as long as your finger. Yup, "Survivor" is baaaaaaack!
"Palau was recess compared to guatemala!" was how Survivor:Palau's Bobby Jon described the start of the new series. he's back, along with reality TV goddess Stephenie, who surprised the contestants by joining the tribes at the introduction to "Survivor: Guatemala." set around mayan temple ruins, stephanie has been assigned by host Jeff Proust to join team Yaxha, and a 20-pounds heavier bobby jon to tribe Nakum.
Other than these two reality show celebs, the rest of the pack is the usually television representation of outrageously attractive "average" people - college students, waitresses, and farmboys - including you, mr. waterskiing instructor with the bad haircut, and you, miss magician's assistant, and you mr. farmer/rancher from kansas who looks like he should be in a grunge band. there's a few oldies who look especially strong, like Gary, the ex-NFL quarterback, And amy, the 39-year-old police sargent who could seriously smack around all the chicks and most of the dudes.
Bobby Jon's Nakum tribe was first to the Mayan ruin finish and lay claim to the "good" base camp, even though he was suffering from debilitating cramps and another tribesman, Blake, got hammered by a porcupine tree and had several nail-size thorns driven into his bronzed buff shoulder. He spent the night upchunking water in the most retching display of sickness seen yet on Survivor. But he wasn't the only one. By the second day, his other male teammates were given in to vomiting, shakes, and cramping - while the tribeswomen stood around in that "tsk, tsk" mode sporting ever-so-sly upturned shit-eating grins. Amazon bitches, all. Luckily, there's a nurse practictioner on the tribe and you gotta know that Margaret will survive a half a dozen immunity challenges if she's already proven she's the most valuable member of the tribe.
The following morning, Jeff gave the two tribes their immunity challenge. Nakum's menfolk were still looking pale and trembling, but they gave it their all. The tribes raced their boats out onto the lake, grabbed a torch at a bouy marker, rowed back, then dragged said boats up the beach using a system of ropes and logs to cross the finish line and light the victory fire. Yaxha won easily.
Older dude, Jim, showed up at the Nakum tribal council elimination ceremony sporting a self-made sling on his arm - a sure indication that he'd had enough after two days. He might as well of hung a sign around his neck saying "pick me." They did. The tribe has spoken Jim. He's the first gone from "Survivor: Guatemala" which looks like it will shape up to be the most grueling Survivor competition ever filmed.