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Katie Holmes Says Scientology is "A Wonderful Thing"

Posted by Fara Kearnes on June 10, 2005 4:49 PM |

TomkatThe movement to liberate Katie Holmes-- a "young, gifted, actress held captive by forces we may never understand" -- has reached a fever pitch and even spawned a new website. freekatie.net is offering t-shirts and other shit you don't need but they would really like you to buy so they can cash in on all the madness.

Now that Katie has been sucked into the mind control Scientology vortex and is vulnerable to becoming a true believer, she is being taught that this big blue world is just a garbage dump along the intergalactic highway. And away she goes!

As any enlightened Scientologist (like Tom Cruise) will tell you, it was Long, Long Ago, in a Galaxy Quite Near that the Galactic Confederation (76 planets around larger stars and founded 95,000,000 yrs ago) solved their problem of overpopulation (250 billion or so per planet). The leader of the universe, Xenu, had 13.5 TRILLION people frozen and brought to Teegeeack (what we now call planet Earth) and had their bodies placed in volcanoes near Hawaii and the Canary Islands. Xenu them dropped H-bombs to destroy the frozen space aliens. (I am not making this up.)

, Then I think -- this is where Scientology gets tricky -- uh, electronic traps were set up to capture all 13.5 trillion souls whirling around in the nuclear winds. What happens to the souls after that gets wierd but they were shown films which tricked them into believing "false" religions like Christianity and Islam. Then they attached themselves to evolving humans, sort of like spores, and continue to infect us with these false beliefs to this day.

And it's up to heroes like Tom Cruise and his new sidekick Katie - the spunky little kitten recruit! - to spread the word about how to be saved from the space aliens who's souls inhabit our bodies. But fair warning - to reach the upper levels of nirvana in Scientology costs beaucoup bucks, about US$360,000. Poor people need not apply to Scientology!

You can read more details of alien cosmology at www.xenu.net and decifer this confabulation for yourself. When I first went to the website, I thought it was a joke, cuz the opening line reads:

Q: Why can't Lisa McPherson read this page?
A: Because she's dead.

But, uh, it's actually a serious page about Scientology. The sick humor may not have been intentional. Even better is the essay that gives the full run down of all things Scientology.

According to Tom, there are somethings we aren't meant to see while we are still bound in this earthly reality. But what a space empire founder L. Ron Hubbard discovered during his trips on LSD!


Then I think -- this is where Scientology gets tricky -- uh, electronic traps were set up to capture all 13.5 trillion souls whirling around in the nuclear winds. What happens to the souls after that gets wierd but they were shown films which tricked them into believing "false" religions like Christianity and Islam. Then they attached themselves to evolving humans, sort of like spores, and continue to infect us with these false beliefs to this day.

And it's up to heroes like Tom Cruise and his new sidekick Katie - the spunky little kitten recruit! - to spread the word about how to be saved from the space aliens who's souls inhabit our bodies. But fair warning - to reach the upper levels of nirvana in Scientology costs beaucoup bucks, about US$360,000. Poor people need not apply to Scientology!

You can read more details of alien cosmology at www.xenu.net and decifer this confabulation for yourself. When I first went to the website, I thought it was a joke, cuz the opening line reads:

Q: Why can't Lisa McPherson read this page?
A: Because she's dead.

But, uh, it's actually a serious page about Scientology. The sick humor may not have been intentional. Even better is the essay that gives the full run down of all things Scientology.

According to Tom, there are somethings we aren't meant to see while we are still bound in this earthly reality. But what a space empire founder L. Ron Hubbard discovered during his trips on LSD!



Comments

I just read about Tom and Katie and scientology. I've heard about it, but never really understood it. Tom and Katie, i'm very happy for you. God Bless you both.

Hi Blogger

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http://filmmovement.blogware.com/
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hemant_kumar_a1internetdesign@yahoo.co.in

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