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Grunt Up the Volume: Supernova Maria Sharapova

Posted by Fara Kearnes on June 22, 2005 11:37 PM |

Maria Sharapova picEven if you don't watch tennis (much) you may want to take a look at the emerging star power of the squeaky clean Russian, Maria Sharapova, that grunty queen of screams and the defending Wimbledon Champ who will try to defend her title over the next 10 days.

Maria, 18, is not to be confused with skanky Anna Kournikova, 23, who, uh ... Anna who you ask? Whoa! Wha happened to Anna? Never a champ, Anna was the female player who couldn't win a match to save her life but that didn't stop her from scooping up millions of dollars from companies who wanted her to endorse their stuff. While she did reach the semis in her very first Wimbledon tournament, Anna's career went nowhere fast and she never won a single title. She did, however, turn the NHL All-Stars into her own private dating pool and has since hooked up with Enrique Iglecias. They may even marry someday ... or wait ... they've been married for ... oh, who cares.

The way Anna talks, she still thinks she has what it takes to make a comeback on the tour. In March she said: "If you saw me with my clothes off you'd see that my body is in great shape and ready to take on the world." Uh, Anna, when we see you in the nude with your clothes off it means you've cashed the check and you're posing in Playboy.
, Maria is anxious to get people's attention off Anna and on to herself and she is not past a bit of a slam on her fellow Rusky. She told Sports Illustrated: "People seem to forget that Anna (Kournikova) isn't in the picture anymore. It's Maria-time now." Ooh, nice smack down, M!

Americans should adopt Maria as a home girl, since, well, she is an immigrant and she's the new EVERYTHING in women's tennis. So what if she was born in Siberia, she's become as American as apple pie -- loves the shopping, been living in Florida for 10 years, father left Chernobyl (I'm not making this up) and came to the U.S. with only $700 and now the family makes $15 million a year thanks to Maria. Ah, the American dream -- it works if you having amazing talent ... or at least fabulous long legs.

Still, "The Siberian Siren" has won only one championship. She'll either become a dominant player over the next five years and win a number of titles, or she could be a one tourney wonder like Jana Novotna, Conchita Martinez, and Mary Pierce. But it will still be one more title than Anna ever won. And it was Wimbledon.

Maria is anxious to get people's attention off Anna and on to herself and she is not past a bit of a slam on her fellow Rusky. She told Sports Illustrated: "People seem to forget that Anna (Kournikova) isn't in the picture anymore. It's Maria-time now." Ooh, nice smack down, M!

Americans should adopt Maria as a home girl, since, well, she is an immigrant and she's the new EVERYTHING in women's tennis. So what if she was born in Siberia, she's become as American as apple pie -- loves the shopping, been living in Florida for 10 years, father left Chernobyl (I'm not making this up) and came to the U.S. with only $700 and now the family makes $15 million a year thanks to Maria. Ah, the American dream -- it works if you having amazing talent ... or at least fabulous long legs.

Still, "The Siberian Siren" has won only one championship. She'll either become a dominant player over the next five years and win a number of titles, or she could be a one tourney wonder like Jana Novotna, Conchita Martinez, and Mary Pierce. But it will still be one more title than Anna ever won. And it was Wimbledon.



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