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Eva Longoria Cheers as the Spurs Paste the Desperate Pistons

Posted by Fara Kearnes on June 13, 2005 4:52 PM |

Nice to see Eva Longoria back on TV on Sunday nights now that her show "Desperate Housewives" is in summer hiatus. She was sitting courtside at the NBA finals game 2 between the Detroit Pistons and the San Antonio Spurs cheering on her man.

Eva, being from Corpus Christi, Texas, and a long-time fan of the Spurs, dates hunky Tony Parker of the Spurs. And may I say that the Spurs are one of the better looking teams in the league what with the presence of Parker, Manu Ginobili and Tim Duncan? Yes, I think I may.

And while I'm on the subject, may I say that I love a purdy tat on a ripped deltoid as much as the next man-ogling woman but some of these players have some butt ugly art on their arms. Not Dennis Rodman f'ugly but bad enough. And the lack of originality with tattoos is getting extreme these days. Ooooooooooo! A sun! A large O with ~ ~ ~ rays emminating everywhere. Like there's not a million boys with one of those nailed on their shoulder...

What Did Eva think? Did she want to yell "Yo, Rasheed! Your tat is f'ugly!" cuz like I so wanted her to. You'd think if Piston players spent as much time shooting practice hoops as they do getting fugly tats inked on their arms they might stand a chance of winning the championship...

But back to Eva. The mamacita looked stunning and was graciously interviewed during a game when the Spurs jumped out to an big early lead. Obviously, the network was in a panic and some producer cried "OMG, this game sucks! Get Eva on camera!" So, ABC's Michele Tafoya stuck a mic in Eva's face and since she won't answer questions about Tony Parker, the interview was about how Eva is a long-time Spurs fan. Yawn.

Gawd, what else was there to talk about? Detroit's Ben Wallace can't shoot a 15-foot uncontested shot from the free throw line and that pretty much summed up the night. What did Eva think? Did she want to yell "Yo, Wallace, I remember Sister Mary Julian back at St. Ignasius hit more free throws even dressed in her habit! Bahahahahahahaha!" cuz like I so wanted her to.

I dunno, you're a 23 years old 6'8" male and have been playing b-ball for like 15 years and put up a million shots, you'd think they could maybe sink one now and then.

But back to Eva. After the Spurs were leading by 20 points, I told the guys sitting around the TV that we could maybe watch Eva in a rerun of the last episode of D-Wives and they were like "No way, Detroit can come back" and I'm like "Yeah, and maybe monkeys will fly outta my butt!" And they are like "Jaaaaaah!" and I'm like "And maybe a white Canadian will be named league MVP! Bahahahaha!"

Oops. That apparently came true -- one of those mystical things, like Hell freezing over. So we got to talking about Steve Nash who is the only Canadian male who doesn't play 'OCKEY up there. And what vision he had! He's no dummy. He hung up his skates as a young boy saying, "Oh, there's no future for the NHL. Some day, Lord Stanley's Cup will be a fading memory, eh." And star players like Peter Forsberg who hissed "$12 million a year! I can't play for no stinking $12 million a year! I FART at your capitalist pig NHL salary cap! No contract for us players. Why, I'm going to Sweden where I can play for $100,000 a year." Or words to that effect.

But back to Eva. What would she yell at striking NHL players? "Yo, Forsberg, did you miss half the season and have surgery on BOTH your ankles this year?? Bahahahahaha!" cuz like I so want her to.

So the Spurs smacked the Pistons around and the TV ratings for the series will probably suck beyond belief but at least Eva will be courtside and get some camera face time. And with the right questions she gives the BEST interviews of any Hollywood starlet. I kid you not! ChaCha once told Rolling Stone mag that she knows quite a number of short off-color jokes ("Why do rabbits screw so quietly? They have cotton balls!"). She kills. So, like, if Michele Tafoya will just ask some interesting questions, Eva will totally provide the entertainment. Cuz, like, I so want her to.


Comments

It's really dumb of you to be hatin' on the pistons. Sheed's tatoo is symbolic of his life if you took the time to get off your ass and watch something other than desperate housewhores. Pistons obviously have what it takes to win this championship and i think what you meant to say was that Pistons are the better looking team. Ginobili falls way too much. on purpose i might add. Tony Parkers head is too bumpy and in case you haven't noticed tim duncan looks like a monkey.no really... he does. Ben wallace can hit a lot more free throws than you ever could and i'd put money on that. He's the one who blocked all of mano ginobili's shots remember? i guess not.So just to set the record straight, Pistons are better than spurs, no doubt Ben Wallace is 6'9 not 6'8 get it straight. Detroit's tougher, better, and a lot better looking. If i might add, yes i might. so don't screw around because everything negative you said about the pistons is the exact same about the spurs. And if you were ever brave enough to get a tatoo as big as rasheed wallace's then maybe you could talk but as of now, you've just hoed your entire life so shut all of that up and and just watch as detroit whips san antonio's ass! DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETROIT BASKETBAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!

ummm... obviously eva isn't cheering she's laughing at how stupid tony parker looks running into rasheed fouling him so many times.


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