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Quips and Notes from the Oscars

Posted by Fara Kearnes on February 28, 2005 3:31 PM |

Quips and notes from the Oscars . . .


Salma Hayek

The host Chris Rock cursed on the third word out of his mouth. But that was it for the profanity, and his entertainment, for the night. I can't wait until they bring back Billy Crystal to host.

Chris Rock on actors: "The only acting you ever see at the Oscars tonight is when people act like they're not mad they lost. Like the year when Halle Berry won and Nicole Kidman was smiling so wide, she should have won an Emmy at the Oscars for her great performance. I was like, if you'd done that in the movie, you'd have won an Oscar, girl."

The fashions were great this year: Salma Hayek (pictured at left)in a Prada gown with a mermaid hemline, Johnny Depp, always on his own path, wore a blue shawl-collared suit, Chris Rock wore formalwear from Sean Combs' collection Sean Jean, Charlize Theron usually looks great but got lost in all the ruffles on her gown, Virginia Madsen looked tipsy with massive ear bobs that threatened to damage her lobes, Gwyneth Paltrow wor a chic-looking gown designed by Stella McCartney, while Renee Zielweiger looked cartoonish and her hair is way too dark.

And the Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston award for the Best-looking Couple goes to: Leonardo DiCaprio and his girlfriend, supermodel Gisele Bundchen.

, Hillary Swank (Best Actress): "I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream." (Hillary also actually thanked her LAWYERS during her acceptance speech . . .)

Class act: Chad Lowe told everyone at the Governor's Ball after the show that his wife (Hillary Swank) is a better wife than actress.

Cate Blanchett (Best Supporting Actress) in thanking Martin Scorsese: "I hope my son will marry your daughter."

Clint Eastwood is the oldest director (74) to have won a statutee in the history of the awards: "I figure I'm just a kid. I'm got a lot of stuff to do yet."

Robin Williams (presenter): "They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!"

Funniest guy: the dude pretending to be asleep when they announced his name as one of the nominees for best short animated film.

And finally, the catty bad acting diva who never disappoints: For her 45-second stage appearance, Barbra Streisand demanded her own dressing room back stage. It's all about you, isnít it Barbara? As you stalled about forgetting your glasses and couldn't read the damn name of the winner, did you forget that you were handing the Oscar for Best Picture to a former Republican mayor?

Hillary Swank (Best Actress): "I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream." (Hillary also actually thanked her LAWYERS during her acceptance speech . . .)

Class act: Chad Lowe told everyone at the Governor's Ball after the show that his wife (Hillary Swank) is a better wife than actress.

Cate Blanchett (Best Supporting Actress) in thanking Martin Scorsese: "I hope my son will marry your daughter."

Clint Eastwood is the oldest director (74) to have won a statutee in the history of the awards: "I figure I'm just a kid. I'm got a lot of stuff to do yet."

Robin Williams (presenter): "They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pants? You go, girl!"

Funniest guy: the dude pretending to be asleep when they announced his name as one of the nominees for best short animated film.

And finally, the catty bad acting diva who never disappoints: For her 45-second stage appearance, Barbra Streisand demanded her own dressing room back stage. It's all about you, isnít it Barbara? As you stalled about forgetting your glasses and couldn't read the damn name of the winner, did you forget that you were handing the Oscar for Best Picture to a former Republican mayor?



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