Call the folks at Guiness - the record people, not the beer guys - cuz this has got to be a new world record for drunkenness.
It's a report out of Sofia, Bulgaria that "incredulous" doctors had to make five blood tests on a drunken man to confirm he had a blood-alcohol content of 0.914. That's blowing POINT-NINE-ONE-FOUR, you Long Island iced tea drinkers. A blood-alcohol level of 0.50 is well into the range of "life threatening."
, The 67-year old man, whose name was not released (hey, why not?), was hospitalized on December 20, when a car knocked him down (hey, why not?) on a street in the southern Bulgarian city of Plovdiv.
A breath test showed the incredibly high blood alcohol level, but police officers thought the result was inaccurate because the man was CONSCIOUS AND TALKING TO THEM. (Coherently?)
Laboratory analysis of five subsequent blood samples taken the same day confirmed that the man had had a blood-alcohol level of 0.914. The man was reported in stable condition after treatment for head injuries.
To my old friends at TAU KAPPA EPSILON and I FELTA THI, it's time to surrender.
Just to make my point, these are the levels of drunk behavior by numbers:
Point .003 Hey! Hold my beer and watch this . . .
Point .005 Relaxed and Euphoric. Suddenly think Jack Daniels and Pineapple Pizza is a good idea.
Point .008 Legal limit. Ugly people are all now bodacious babes
Point .10 Staggering and have trouble being understood as you insult bodacious babe
Point .14 Shit-faced, waking up in a fetal position, with a pierced-nipple, but you can't remember. . .
Point .20 Black-outs and Vomiting occur simultaneously (See: Jimi Hendrix)
Point .30 Physically Numb. Passed out. No wait -- You're Courtney Love.
Point .35 This is actually the surgical level of anesthesia (True)
Point .40 Coma. You are s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n. It's a miracle you're not dead.
Point .50 You're dead, like, "Weekend-at-Bernie's" Dead.
Point .60 You must be Irish. Have another pint!
Point .70 A pickled specimen for forensic scientists
Point .80 Nope. No Description. Never been recorded.
Point .90 Some guy walking around Bulgaria with a headache
The 67-year old man, whose name was not released (hey, why not?), was hospitalized on December 20, when a car knocked him down (hey, why not?) on a street in the southern Bulgarian city of Plovdiv.
A breath test showed the incredibly high blood alcohol level, but police officers thought the result was inaccurate because the man was CONSCIOUS AND TALKING TO THEM. (Coherently?)
Laboratory analysis of five subsequent blood samples taken the same day confirmed that the man had had a blood-alcohol level of 0.914. The man was reported in stable condition after treatment for head injuries.
To my old friends at TAU KAPPA EPSILON and I FELTA THI, it's time to surrender.
Just to make my point, these are the levels of drunk behavior by numbers:
Point .003 Hey! Hold my beer and watch this . . .
Point .005 Relaxed and Euphoric. Suddenly think Jack Daniels and Pineapple Pizza is a good idea.
Point .008 Legal limit. Ugly people are all now bodacious babes
Point .10 Staggering and have trouble being understood as you insult bodacious babe
Point .14 Shit-faced, waking up in a fetal position, with a pierced-nipple, but you can't remember. . .
Point .20 Black-outs and Vomiting occur simultaneously (See: Jimi Hendrix)
Point .30 Physically Numb. Passed out. No wait -- You're Courtney Love.
Point .35 This is actually the surgical level of anesthesia (True)
Point .40 Coma. You are s-l-o-w-i-n-g d-o-w-n. It's a miracle you're not dead.
Point .50 You're dead, like, "Weekend-at-Bernie's" Dead.
Point .60 You must be Irish. Have another pint!
Point .70 A pickled specimen for forensic scientists
Point .80 Nope. No Description. Never been recorded.
Point .90 Some guy walking around Bulgaria with a headache
